Building Self Esteem

Healthy self-esteem is based on our ability to assess ourselves accurately (know ourselves) and still be able to accept and to value ourselves unconditionally. The first important step in improving self-esteem is to begin to challenge the negative messages of the critical inner voice.

Since our self-esteem is in part due to how others have treated us in the past, the second step to more healthy self-esteem is to begin to treat yourself as a worthwhile person. Talking to a counselor is a good way to learn more about your self-esteem issues and begin to improve your self-esteem.

Contingencies of self-worth comprise those qualities a person believes he or she must have in order to class as a person of worth and value; proponents claim the contingencies as the core of self-esteem. Individuals who base their self-worth in a specific domain (such as, for example, academic success) leave themselves much more vulnerable to having their self-esteem threatened when negative events happen to them within that domain (such as when they fail a test at school).

Low self esteem feeds your negative thinking and makes you believe negative comments others make. This can cause you to lose confidence so it is vital to end negative thoughts if you want to build your self esteem.

While high self-esteem is still generally valued as a good quality that is important to a happy and productive life, more researchers are breaking it down into finer gradations and starting to understand when high self-esteem turns from good to bad. However, for some people their self-esteem is often fragile and easily affected by day-to-day events such as a poor mark on an assignment or a poor performance on the sports field.

If you have a high level of self esteem you will be confident, happy, highly motivated and have the right attitude to succeed. Low self esteem means poor confidence and that also causes negative thoughts which mean that you are likely to give up easily rather than face challenges.

While high self-esteem is still generally valued as a good quality that is important to a happy and productive life, the key to healthy self esteem is becoming aware of our personal strengths and accepting ourselves as worthy persons despite any real weaknesses we have.

Self-esteem building is about accepting ourselves for who we are, warts and all.